Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
