This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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