My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
