This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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