ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
