You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
