she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
