Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
