It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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