if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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