P.S. I can't hear my feet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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