What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
