When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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