that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
