The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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