Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
