her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize