We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
