Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize