I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
