I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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