I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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