Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I've blown a few things in my day
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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