So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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