She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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