i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
