you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
