I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
50% drunk capacity currently
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
