fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
