she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
