so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
