margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
