i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
