maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
