dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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