the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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