That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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