Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i think i scared a bird with my dick
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
