I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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