This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
