I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
