Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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