I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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