My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
