a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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