There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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