I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
