I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
