Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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