the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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