Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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