The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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