Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
