people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
