For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
